June 2.0

I had a conversation with someone, and she asked me, why it is so important for me to be able to “stand on my own feet”. The answer I blurted out was

worthiness.

Funny how one word can fill up a whole room. How one word can multiply into many, so many that no matter how much you try to move on, it catches up to you, and plops back in your head.

During dinner… plop.

putting the kids to sleep… plop.

waking up at night… plop.

brushing your teeth in the morning… plop.

writing… plop.

plop.

worth - I - ness.

Until that moment, I thought I knew that I was worthy.

worthiness.

This one word encapsulated me. It became a lost child, looking at me, and wanting to hold my hand.

I realized that even though I do not define myself by my work, working makes me feel worthy. Succeeding in being independent will make me feel worthy. And boy oh boy, this has to change.

I need to reprogram my story:

My work, the amount of money I have, the place that I live in, all this has nothing to do with my worthiness.

I am worthy.

Even without it all, I am worthy. I am worthy now. I was worthy then. I will always be worthy.

Imagination can create healing.

worthiness.

I look down at you, and I take you by the hand.

thank you.

On a lighter note, in a short and sweet version: things that brought me joy, kids stuff, and this is it.

Joy:

Doing the swan Kriya!

Kids Stuff:

Played a game where someone needs to draw something and the others need to guess what it is. It was really funny. The above images are an elephant and a dog!

This is it:

Wearing colourful clothes when the weather is crap!

as always, with much love,

Susan