On losing my job

Last Thursday I was fired. I wanted to say “I lost my job”. But then I realised how funny the term lost is. As if I dont know where it is. I didn’t lose my job, it is not missing. But after 15 years of working with the company, my chapter is closing. done.

I don’t define myself by my job, but it is still a big part of me, since it is where I spend a lot of my time…

So yes, I have big changes ahead of me, and change is scary. Luckily I know where I want to go, and this change is pushing me closer to the future self that I imagine myself being.

As life plays funny games with us, I just started reading “The Lion Trackers Guide to Life”, and after leaving the office and sitting in the train on my way home, I read this:

“as paradoxical as it sounds, going down a path and not finding a track is part of finding the track… the path of not here is part of the path of here”

Boyd Party (the author) is writing about tracking a lion when all of a sudden the tracks disappear. They lose track of the lion, but as the quote says, not finding a track is part of finding the track.

This will be the first time that I do not have a fixed employment since I graduated from University. And I know that there will be times when I feel a bit lost, since employment always gave me something to hide behind. I received a character that I could hide behind.

Now I need to work on developing a new character. When people ask me what I do - My answer will no longer be: I am a sustainability manager and PM but, it will be more along the lines of: I am starting my own company. Or maybe I should just go hard and say I am the CEO of a company (that I founded). hahaha. (not sure if laughing after I wrote that, is putting bad energy out there) (insert thinking emoji with glasses)

But on the path to my future self, I can hold on to this: not finding a track is part of finding the track. So, I guess we are never lost.

and with that I say:

cheers to change.

cheers to boss mode.

cheers to one door closing.

cheers to another one opening:

see you on the other side.

with love

Susan